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Welcome to by documentation of wandering & pondering. 

Mixed Emotions

Mixed Emotions

As the shopping centres begin to boast sparkling displays of Christmas decorations and elevators hum the tune of 'Jingles Bells', it has dawned on me that Christmas is quickly approaching. I love Christmas and excited would be an understatement in describing how I feel about the first Christmas in what feels like forever that will be spent with the whole of my extended family on Mum's side. As excited as I get about Christmas approaching, there is also a voice in the back of my head reminding me that in the week leading up to Christmas, I am moving to New Zealand.

In January I made the decision that I would leave my parents in Sydney to go study Auckland after graduating. I am still one hundred percent sure of my decision, but I just feel like it has come around WAY too quickly! It is something that I have wanted to do since I was twelve and something that I feel will help me grow as a person and make a successful transition into adulthood. It's not like it is something strange and unfamiliar to me, I am from Auckland and since moving here when I was three years old, I have kept very close contact with friends and family there and made frequent trips over to see them all. I know I will love living there but the hard part is leaving.

I have been thinking a lot lately about how blessed I am to live in two insanely beautiful parts of Sydney (Mum's house and Dad's house), to be part of an amazing church and to be surrounded by some of the most amazing, genuine people you could ever meet. It is tough thinking about how in between times when I see them face to face, so much in their lives would have changed. My brothers will grow beards, people will set out on all kinds new and exciting life adventures and my friends will find life partners with out the best friend tick of approval. 

I'm not a stranger to moving either, a few years ago I moved from one side of Sydney to the other and I'll admit that it was really hard at the time. I will also admit that I was the one who made it really hard for myself. I was blinded by the past and faced new experiences with a crappy attitude. I spent the first six months of my new school absolutely hating it because I was upset about leaving my old friends who were still only a bus ride or a phone call away. I was so closed off to new friendships and experiences.My grandma told me that moving is just a way of making your world bigger and I really took that on board. Such a simple idea but it completely altered the way I perceived the change. Looking back I can say that the one and a half years between my attitude adjustment and now have been so unbelievably rewarding. It's not what you see but how you look at it. I have still kept contact with my old friends too, because close friendships can withstand the challenge of distance, and the challenge of distance shows you who who your true friends are.


Honestly, although tears will flow like a thousand waterfalls at the airport, it is not the end of the world. Sydney will always be a place I can call home and I will be back for frequent visits and maybe one day to live. After all, Sydney is closer to Auckland than it is to Perth and the flight is quicker than driving down to Canberra.

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Boronia Tea Rooms

Boronia Tea Rooms

Harry's Cafe De Wheels

Harry's Cafe De Wheels