The Month my Head Almost Exploded
It has been a while since I last posted. There have been thousands of little Energizer Bunnies running infinite laps around my mind, reflected in the ocean of papers and dirty clothes that conceal my bedroom floor. The past month and a bit has been a complete rollercoaster of life milestones (finishing school, getting my drivers licence, Year 12 formal, Final Exams...) and important life lessons, some of which were definitely learnt the hard way! With one exam left, I'm taking a moment to pause and reflect on what this chaotic season has brought to the surface and what lessons I have learnt through facing life as it is lived. Here are a few quick thoughts on changes I am trying to make personally to get through the times in life when I feel like there is too much going on for me to handle.
PROCRASTINATING WON'T MAKE ANYTHING HAPPEN
Anyone who knows me well enough knows that time management has to be one of my biggest weaknesses. During my final exams I spent more time surfing social media and cooking up five course meals than I actually did studying and as a result I got super stressed on the day before my exams because I didn't know the course content. I'm not alone either, the desire to procrastinate is deeply embedded in human nature. Whilst the wandering of the mind is vital in the creative process, when you are trying to memorise facts from a history text book, thoughts about colour coding your wardrobe or bush walking tracks in the blue mountains aren't going to benefit your results at all. When I found myself unnecessarily scrolling through pages of tweets a day out from having three exams over two days, I was so outraged by my own lack of motivation and concentration. My mind had slowly wandered off track and the cost of these wanderings was five hours of valuable study time! Theoretically, it is pretty simple, less time I spend procrastinating, the more time I will have to balance out doing what I love and doing what needs to be done. Practically, it is super challenging but something that I am willing to challenge myself to gradually get better at.
SET TIME ASIDE TO JUST ENJOY LIFE
John Lennon once said that "Life is what happens while we are busy making plans." I'm the kind of person that is ALWAYS making plans and jumping from one thing to the next, so the concept of pausing to embrace the small moments in life was a difficult one to grasp. After a day of staring mindlessly at a pile of class notes, I decided that it would be beneficial to take small breaks from ticking off boxes. I would do things that needed to be done for a certain amount of time and schedule in time to do what I wanted to do and hang out with people that I love. I am someone who has always put breaks and procrastination in the same category but after taking time out and just living in the moment without worrying about the list of things that needed to be done I found that 'breaks' clear your mind and give you more incentive to keep going where as 'procrastination' is putting off a task and leaves you feeling guilty as opposed to satisfied.
WORRYING WONT MAKE ANYTHING BETTER
I had a pretty crazy ordeal earlier this month that consumed the majority of my headspace and made me anxious about certain places and people. I'm pretty good at catastrophizing EVERYTHING and I was constantly considering worst case scenarios or how certain what I could have done differently and tormenting myself over my own wrong actions. I came across a verse in Matthew 6:34 that says "Don't be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious about itself". It was so simple but so in season. It caused me to realise that worrying wasn't going to make anything better and whilst I can learn from such mistakes, they are also in the past now and if my Jesus forgives me, I need to also forgive myself. In terms of what will happen in the future, all I can do is pray and believe for the best. Not being consumed by worry takes a massive burden away and enables you to live life freely and to the full.