The Worries of a Wildflower
It’s crazy how overflowing gratitude can turn into crippling anxiety in a moment. Yesterday I spent too long in my journal, reflecting on how grateful I am for what I have here in LA. I ended up paralysed by a steady flow of anxious tears, fears and thoughts of what the future holds.
Having lived in almost 30 houses in my mere 22 years, I become fearful when I become comfortable. I often avoid creating deep roots in the fear that, like a flower, I’ll be uprooted yet again to become a seed in new soil.
I have an obsessive need to capture and document each moment out of the fear that it will soon be a distant memory. I feel the need to hold on to everything so tightly - to plan out and control every aspect of my life. I leave very little room in my heart to trust God, his will for my life and that everything will be made beautiful in his perfect time.
So I’ll keep singing the following words until they ring true to my soul:
“I will be anxious for nothing, hold on to one thing: my comfort; my peace. I will be safe in your presence so fierce and so tender. My comfort, my peace.”